I am officially 32 years old now and I have been a single mom for almost 4 years. There are a lot of things I have seen and learned. I thank Allah and feeling so blessed for another chance in another year of life for me to become more wiser and happier. (and older haha)
Few most important things I would like to highlight that I have learned thus far.
1. Ali is my precious piece from heaven.
Sape tak sayang anak oi. Having a child is a fun commitment. At least for me.
He brings me so much joy in my life. Having him is like having a direction on what need to do and what is not necessary. Apa-apa yang aku nak buat, Ali’s condition is always my priority. Alhamdullilah our tolerance and cooperation with each other are unbreakable. He copes up with me being a busy mommy and I keep up with him growing up.
His companionship is what I treasured the most. We said love to each other every day. He is the greatest gift of all given by God. And he is the reason why I wanted to live my life.
2. No one is going to do anything for you.
Nak sesuatu, get off your ass and do it. Make it happen. Hidup jangan bergantung harap dengan orang. It won't bring you anywhere because we just don't put hope in people. Opportunities don't just fall from the sky, you work for it.
Tak ada apa yang tak cukup Allah bagi kat aku. I was given 24 hours equal with everyone on earth. Mana yang mampu kederat tulang empat kerat ni buat, aku buat. Mengharapkan orang ni pun bukan senang. Nobody owes you anything for them to do it for you and they don't give a damn.
3. No such things as fair or unfair in life.
I believe things happen for reasons. Semua kejadian ada hikmah Allah. Perkataan adil atau tidak ni aku buang jauh-jauh dalam hidup aku. If things goes my way, aku bersyukur. If they don't, it's okay. I always move forward. You can get what you want or you don't. That's it.
Kau yang decide apa yang kau nak sekarang or later. Your destiny and future are decided by none other but you.
4. You are going to be condemned or criticized no matter what you do. Just do your things.
As a single mother, apa yang aku buat menjadi perhatian (some people). Some people may look at you as a failure. Be it. People may look at you as strong and brave. Alhamdullilah. And trust me, being a single mom makes some people want to correct you even more than you wanted to do it right. Kalau aku sibuk dengar negative feedback or mindset of other people, aku mungkin akan duduk belakang pintu menangis sendu.
Just do your things. Some criticisms are good. Some are bad. People criticize because they cared and loved you or maybe orang dengki (idk). But you gotta do what you have to do and either way, macam mana sekalipun, someone somewhere will have something to say.
5. Kau tak kan pernah tahu...
Everyone is going through different hardships. Everyone has their ways of dealing with their life. Sometimes I share about my life through social media (most of the time I don't) but it doesn't mean one can assume or judge. I may look strong and brave on the outside, but you will never know what I dealt with inside my heart. I have had so many bumps along the way in my journey. Just so many.
Therefore, whatever I show to the audience on my social media gave you nothing but happiness that I wanted to share.
6. You cannot change people.
Ini lah benda yang paling impossible akan berlaku. I couldn't control the outcome of family drama, friendship, work etc. Lagi aku nak control situation, lagi jadi macam apa dah. Yelah, semua orang ada pendirian and pendapat masing-masing kan. The harder I try to control, the messier it has become. Change people into something they are not is fucking pointless and a waste of breath. People are who they are. So I will try to be more accepting.
Kau rasa kau betul, okay.
Kau rasa kau nak menyibuk, suka hati kau lah.
Sebaik-baik manusia, mesti ada orang benci.
Sejahat-jahat manusia, mesti ada orang sayang.
People are set in their ways for their own reasons.
So inilah list of things yang aku rasa aku kena work on daily from today onwards. Aku bukan sempurna and of course I need daily reminders. Bukan nak mengajak apatah lagi mengajar, just sharing. Again, do what works for you :)
Okay lah nak tido. Good night and happy belated birthday Khairun Azuin Irna @ MommyALHKL.
