Yet, this is the last resort for me. Peoples getting tired hearing the same damn bullshits. Me too. Instead of burdening people with my sucks life stories, i put it in here. Well, its a relief somehow.
I dont tend to please people. I make mistakes, i know. Everybody makes mistakes. Stupid or how bad will it be, nobody is perfect. Lesson learnt, people changes. Whether to bad or good, regardless people do change. But what hurt me the most is when, some people didnt, at all, giving you a chance to make things right again and for them to change themselves and recover from the mistakes they've made.
At some point of life, im getting used to people pushing me around. Command me to do this and that. Forcing me to do things i dont want to. Being lonely is what i scared the most. And i tend to do everything i could to please people though i know, it is not worth it. Because i want to see other people's happiness, thats what make me stay. Until i have come into this state, where I AM SICK OF IT ALL.
The word "i'm used to" has become a friend of mine and it is sad. I know. I can be heartless, i can be so cold that i can ignore everything that dont concern me. However, to be back to that kind of life... The one that ignoring people's hard life and being selfish are so much more pathetic and i am trying hard not to go back there again.
Yet, people used me. People makes me sad. People makes me feel bad about myself. People always tend to put their blames on me. People left me alone. People left me unanswered. People dont want to give chance for me to change. People dont accept me. People being so cold. And i am sick of pleasing people.
Im at the point of... I feel like i should take a break from myself and everybody else.
I is sad.
